SCENE IV. [ A street. ]

Enter an old Captain and Citizens with PHARAMOND

Cap. Come, my brave myrmidons, let us fall on.

Let your caps swarm, my boys, and your nimble tongues

Forget your mother-gibberish of “what do you lack?”

And set your mouths ope, children, till your palates

Fall frighted half a fathom past the cure

Of bay-salt and gross pepper, and then cry

“Philaster, brave Philaster!” Let Philaster

Be deeper in request, my ding-dongs,〖Darlings.〗

My pairs of dear indentures,〖Apprentices, who were bound by indentures, and whose usual weapons were clubs. Throughout these scenes, it is, of course, London citizens who are in view.〗 kings of clubs,〖Apprentices, who were bound by indentures, and whose usual weapons were clubs. Throughout these scenes, it is, of course, London citizens who are in view.〗

Than your cold water-camlets,〖A cloth, made of wool, sometimes mixed with silk, with a watered surface.〗 or your paintings

Spitted with copper.〖Colored cloth interwoven with copper.〗 Let not your hasty silks,

Or your branch'd cloth of bodkin,〖Embroidered cloth, originally of gold and silk.〗 or your tissues,

Dearly beloved of spiced cake and custard,

Your Robin Hoods, Scarlets, and Johns, tie your affections

In darkness to your shops. No, dainty duckers〖Cringers (?), duck-hunters (?).〗

Up with your three-piled spirits, your wrought valours;〖A pun on velour.〗

And let your uncut cholers〖A pun on collars.〗 make the King feel

The measure of your mightiness. Philaster!

Cry, my rose-nobles,〖Another pun. Rose-nobles were gold coins.〗 cry!

All. Philaster! Philaster!

Cap. How do you like this, my lord-prince?

These are mad boys, I tell you; these are things

That will not strike their top-sails to a foist,〖A small vessel.〗

And let a man of war, an argosy,

Hull〖Float idly.〗 and cry cockles.〖Crow over them.〗

Pha. Why, you rude slave, do you know what you do?

Cap. My pretty prince of puppets, we do know;

And give your greatness warning that you talk

No more such bug's-words,〖Swaggering words.〗 or that solder'd crown

Shall be scratch'd with a musket.〖A male sparrow-hawk, with a pun on the weapon.〗 Dear prince Pippin,

Down with your noble blood, or, as I live,

I'll have you coddled.〖Stewed.〗—Let him loose, my spirits:

Make us a round ring with your bills, my Hectors,

And let us see what this trim man dares do.

Now, sir, have at you! here I lie;

And with this swashing blow (do you see, sweet prince?)

I could hulk〖Disembowel.〗 your grace, and hang you up cross-legg'd,

Like a hare at a poulter's, and do this with this wiper.〖Instrument for cleaning a gun.〗

Pha. You will not see me murder'd, wicked villains?

1st Cit. Yes, indeed, will we, sir; we have not seen one

For a great while.

Cap. He would have weapons, would he?

Give him a broadside, my brave boys, with your pikes;

Branch〖Embroider.〗 me his skin in flowers like a satin,

And between every flower a mortal cut.—

Your royalty shall ravel!—Jag him, gentlemen;

I'll have him cut to the kell,〖The caul about the hart's paunch.〗 then down the seams.

O for a whip to make him galloon-laces!〖Ribbons, tape.〗

I'll have a coach-whip.

Pha. Oh, spare me, gentlemen!

Cap. Hold, hold;

The man begins to fear and know himself.

He shall for this time only be seel'd up,〖Have his eyelids sewed together like a hawk's.〗

With a feather through his nose, that he may only

See heaven, and think whither he is going.

Nay, my beyond-sea sir, we will proclaim you:

You would be king!

Thou tender heir apparent to a church-ale,〖I. e., a bastard, one born after the convivialities of a church feast.〗

Thou slight prince of single sarcenet,〖Thin silk.〗

Thou royal ring-tail,〖A sort of kite.〗 fit to fly at nothing

But poor men's poultry, and have every boy

Beat thee from that too with his bread and butter!

Pha. Gods keep me from these hell-hounds!

1st Cit. I'll have a leg, that's certain.

2nd Cit. I'll have an arm.

3rd Cit. I'll have his nose, and at mine own charge build

A college and clap't upon the gate.〖In allusion to Brazen Nose College, Oxford.〗

4th Cit. I'll have his little gut to string a kit〖Cittern.〗 with;

For certainly a royal gut will sound like silver.

Pha. Would they were in thy belly, and I past

My pain once!

5th Cit. Good captain, let me have his liver to feed ferrets.

Cap. Who will have parcels else? Speak.

Pha. Good gods, consider me! I shall be tortur'd.

1st Cit. Captain, I'll give you the trimming of your two-hand sword,

And let me have his skin to make false scabbards.

2nd Cit. He had no horns, sir, had he?

Cap. No, sir, he's a pollard.〖Hornless animal.〗

What wouldst thou do with horns?

2nd Cit. Oh, if he had had,

I would have made rare hafts and whistles of 'em;

But his shin-bones, if they be sound, shall serve me.


All. Long live Philaster, the brave Prince Philaster!

Phi. I thank you, gentlemen. But why are these

Rude weapons brought abroad, to teach your hands

Uncivil trades?

Cap. My royal Rosicleer,〖A hero in “The Mirrour of Knighthood,” a romance from the Spanish. See “The Knight of the Burning Pestle.”〗

We are thy myrmidons, thy guard, thy roarers;〖Roistering blades.〗

And when thy noble body is in durance,

Thus do we clap our musty murrions〖Steel caps.〗 on,

And trace the streets in terror. Is it peace,

Thou Mars of men? Is the King sociable,

And bids thee live? Art thou above thy foemen,

And free as Phœbus? Speak. If not, this stand〖Cask.〗

Of royal blood shall be abroach, a-tilt,

And run even to the lees of honour.

Phi. Hold, and be satisfied. I am myself;

Free as my thoughts are; by the gods, I am!

Cap. Art thou the dainty darling of the King?

Art thou the Hylas to our Hercules?

Do the lords bow, and the regarded scarlets〖Courtiers clad in scarlet.〗

Kiss their gummed golls,〖Perfumed hands.〗 and cry, “We are your servants”?

Is the court navigable, and the presence stuck

With flags of friendship? If not, we are thy castle,

And this man sleeps.

Phi. I am what I desire to be, your friend;

I am what I was born to be, your prince.

Pha. Sir, there is some humanity in you;

You have a noble soul. Forget my name,

And know my misery; set me safe aboard

From these wild cannibals, and, as I live,

I'll quit this land for ever. There is nothing,—

Perpetual prisonment, cold, hunger, sickness

Of all sorts, of all dangers, and all together,

The worst company of the worst men, madness, age,

To be as many creatures as a woman,

And do as all they do, nay, to despair,—

But I would rather make it a new nature,

And live with all these, than endure one hour

Amongst these wild dogs.

Phi. I do pity you.—Friends, discharge your fears;

Deliver me the prince. I'll warrant you

I shall be old enough to find my safety.

3rd Cit. Good sir, take heed he does not hurt you;

He is a fierce man, I can tell you, sir.

Cap. Prince, by your leave, I'll have a surcingle,〖Band.〗

And make〖Train.〗 you like a hawk. [PHAR.] strives.

Phi. Away, away, there is no danger in him:

Alas, he had rather sleep to shake his fit off!

Look you, friends, how gently he leads! upon my word,

He's tame enough, he needs no further watching.

Good my friends, go to your houses,

And by me have your pardons and my love;

And know there shall be nothing in my power

You may deserve, but you shall have your wishes.

To give you more thanks, were to flatter you.

Continue still your love; and, for an earnest,

Drink this. [Gives money.]

All. Long mayst thou live, brave prince, brave prince, brave prince! Exeunt PHIL. and PHAR.

Cap. Go thy ways, thou art the king of courtesy!

Fall off again, my sweet youths. Come,

And every man trace to his house again,

And hang his pewter up; then to the tavern,

And bring your wives in muffs. We will have music;

And the red grape shall make us dance and rise, boys. Exeunt.

All Directories