SCENE IV. [A room in the same]_ACT V_THE ALCHEMIST_ELIZABETHAN DRAMA

SCENE IV. [A room in the same]

[Enter] SUBTLE, [leading in] DAPPER, [with his eyes bound as before]

Sub. How! you have eaten your gag?

Dap. Yes, faith, it crumbled

Away in my mouth.

Sub. You ha' spoil'd all then.

Dap. No!

I hope my aunt of Fairy will forgive me.

Sub. Your aunt's a gracious lady; but in troth

You were to blamA room in the same

Dap. The fume did overcome me,

And I did do't to stay my stomach. 'Pray you

So satisfy her grace.

[Enter FACE in his uniform]

Here comes the captain.

Face. How now! Is his mouth down?

Sub. Ay, he has spoken!

Face. A pox, I heard him, and you too. He's undone then.— [Aside to SUBTLE.] I have been fain to say, the house is haunted With spirits, to keep churl back.

Sub. And hast thou done it?

Face. Sure, for this night.

Sub. Why, then triumph and sing

Of Face so famous, the precious king

Of present wits.

Face. Did you not hear the coil

About the door?

Sub. Yes, and I dwindled〖Shrank with fear.〗 with it.

Face. Show him his aunt, and let him be dispatch'd:

I'll send her to you. [Exit FACE.]

Sub. Well, sir, your aunt her grace

Will give you audience presently, on my suit,

And the captain's word that you did not eat your gag

In any contempt of her highness. [Unbinds his eyes.]

Dap. Not I, in troth, sir.

[Enter] DOL like the Queen of Fairy

Sub. Here she is come. Down o' your knees and wriggle:

She has a stately presence. [DAPPER kneels and shuffles towards her.] Good! Yet nearer,

And bid, God save you!

Dap. Madam!

Sub. And your aunt.

Dap. And my most gracious aunt, God save your grace.

Dol. Nephew, we thought to have been angry with you;

But that sweet face of yours hath turn'd the tide,

And made it flow with joy, that ebb'd of love.

Arise, and touch our velvet gown.

Sub. The skirts,

And kiss 'em. So!

Dol. Let me now stroke that head.

Much, nephew, shalt thou win, much shalt thou spend;

Much shalt thou give away, much shalt thou lend.

Sub. [Aside.] Ay, much! indeed.—Why do you not thank her grace?

Dap. I cannot speak of joy.

Sub. See, the kind wretch!

Your grace's kinsman right.

Dol. Give me the bird.

Here is your fly in a purse, about your neck, cousin;

Wear it, and feed it about this day sev'n-night,

On your right wrist——

Sub. Open a vein with a pin,

And let it suck but once a week; till then,

You must not look on't.

Dol. No: and, kinsman,

Bear yourself worthy of the blood you come on.

Sub. Her grace would ha' you eat no more Woolsack〖Names of taverns.〗 pies,

Nor Dagger〖Names of taverns.〗 frumety.〖Wheat boiled in milk.〗

Dol. Nor break his fast

In Heaven〖Names of taverns.〗 and Hell.〖Names of taverns.〗

Sub. She's with you everywhere!

Nor play with costermongers, at mumchance,〖Games of chance.〗 traytrip,〖Games of chance.〗

God-make-you-rich〖Games of chance.〗 (when as your aunt has done it); but keep

The gallant'st company, and the best games——

Dap. Yes, sir.

Sub. Gleek〖Games of chance.〗 and primero;〖Games of chance.〗 and what you get, be true to us.

Dap. By this hand, I will.

Sub. You may bring 's a thousand pound

Before to-morrow night, if but three thousand

Be stirring, an you will.

Dap. I swear I will then.

Sub. Your fly will learn you all games.

Face. [Within.] Ha' you done there?

Sub. Your grace will command him no more duties?

Dol. No:

But come, and see me often. I may chance

To leave him three or four hundred chests of treasure,

And some twelve thousand acres of fairy land,

If he game well and comely with good gamesters.

Sub. There's a kind aunt: kiss her departing part.—

But you must sell your forty mark a year now.

Dap. Ay, sir, I mean.

Sub. Or, give 't away; pox on't!

Dap. I'll give 't mine aunt. I'll go and fetch the writings. [Exit.]

Sub. 'Tis well; away.

[Re-enter FACE]

Face. Where's Subtle?

Sub. Here: what news?

Face. Drugger is at the door, go take his suit,

And bid him fetch a parson presently.

Say he shall marry the widow. Thou shalt spend

A hundred pound by the service! [Exit SUBTLE.] Now, Queen Dol,

Have you pack'd up all?

Dol. Yes.

Face. And how do you like

The Lady Pliant?

Dol. A good dull innocent.

[Re-enter SUBTLE]

Sub. Here's your Hieronimo's cloak and hat.

Face. Give me 'em.

Sub. And the ruff too?

Face. Yes; I'll come to you presently. [Exit.]

Sub. Now he is gone about his project, Dol,

I told you of, for the widow.

Dol. 'Tis direct

Against our articles.

Sub. Well, we will fit him, wench.

Hast thou gull'd her of her jewels or her bracelets?

Dol. No; but I will do 't.

Sub. Soon at night, my Dolly,

When we are shipp'd, and all our goods aboard,

Eastward for Ratcliff, we will turn our course

To Brainford, westward, if thou sayst the word,

And take our leaves of this o'erweening rascal,

This peremptory Face.

Dol. Content; I'm weary of him.

Sub. Thou'st cause, when the slave will run a wiving, Dol,

Against the instrument that was drawn between us.

Dol. I'll pluck his bird as bare as I can.

Sub. Yes, tell her

She must by any means address some present

To the cunning man, make him amends for wronging

His art with her suspicion; send a ring,

Or chain of pearl; she will be tortur'd else

Extremely in her sleep, say, and have strange things

Come to her. Wilt thou?

Dol. Yes.

Sub. My fine flitter-mouse,〖Bat.〗

My bird o' the night! We'll tickle it at the Pigeons,〖An inn at Brentford.〗

When we have all, and may unlock the trunks,

And say, this's mine, and thine; and thine, and mine.They kiss.

Re-enter FACE

Face. What now! a billing?

Sub. Yes, a little exalted

In the good passage of our stock-affairs.

Face. Drugger has brought his parson; take him in, Subtle,

And send Nab back again to wash his face.

Sub. I will: and shave himself? [Exit.]

Face. If you can get him.

Dol. You are hot upon it, Face, whate'er it is!

Face. A trick that Dol shall spend ten pound a month by.

[Re-enter SUBTLE]

Is he gone?

Sub. The chaplain waits you in the hall, sir.

Face. I'll go bestow him. [Exit.]

Dol. He'll now marry her instantly.

Sub. He cannot yet, he is not ready. Dear Dol,

Cozen her of all thou canst. To deceive him

Is no deceit, but justice, that would break

Such an inextricable tie as ours was.

Dol. Let me alone to fit him.

[Re-enter FACE]

Face. Come, my venturers,

You ha' pack'd up all? Where be the trunks? Bring forth.

Sub. Here.

Face. Let us see 'em. Where's the money?

Sub. Here,

In this.

Face. Mammon's ten pound; eight score before:

The brethren's money this. Drugger's and Dapper's.

What paper's that?

Dol. The jewel of the waiting maid's,

That stole it from her lady, to know certain——

Face. If she should have precedence of her mistress.

Dol. Yes.

Face. What box is that?

Sub. The fish-wives' rings, I think,

And th' ale-wives' single money.〖Small change.〗 Is't not, Dol?

Dol. Yes; and the whistle that the sailor's wife

Brought you to know an her husband were with Ward.〖A famous pirate.〗

Face. We'll wet it to-morrow; and our silver beakers

And tavern cups. Where be the French petticoats

And girdles and hangers?

Sub. Here, i' the trunk,

And the bolts of lawn.

Face. Is Drugger's damask there,

And the tobacco?

Sub. Yes.

Face. Give me the keys.

Dol. Why you the keys?

Sub. No matter, Dol; because

We shall not open them before he comes.

Face. 'Tis true, you shall not open them, indeed;

Nor have 'em forth, do you see? Not forth, Dol.

Dol. No!

Face. No, my smock-rampant. The right is, my master

Knows all, has pardon'd me, and he will keep 'em.

Doctor, 'tis true—you look—for all your figures:

I sent for him, indeed. Wherefore, good partners,

Both he and she be satisfied; for here

Determines〖Ends.〗 the indenture tripartite

'Twixt Subtle, Dol, and Face. All I can do

Is to help you over the wall, o' the back-side,

Or lend you a sheet to save your velvet gown, Dol.

Here will be officers presently, bethink you

Of some course suddenly to escape the dock;

For thither you will come else. Some knock. Hark you, thunder.

Sub. You are a precious fiend!

Offi. [without.] Open the door.

Face. Dol, I am sorry for thee i' faith; but hear'st thou?

It shall go hard but I will place thee somewhere:

Thou shalt ha' my letter to Mistress Amo—

Dol. Hang you!

Face. Or Madam Cæsarean.

Dol. Pox upon you, rogue,

Would I had but time to beat thee!

Face. Subtle,

Let's know where you set up next; I will send you

A customer now and then, for old acquaintance.

What new course have you?

Sub. Rogue, I'll hang myself;

That I may walk a greater devil than thou,

And haunt thee i' the flock-bed and the buttery. [Exeunt.]

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